Music

My taste in music is hard to explain.  It usually depends on what mood I'm in actually.  I've got pretty eclectic tastes, but not when you compare it to my husband's.  I can speak in generalities, such as, I don't like rap (if you can even consider that music), heavy metal makes me feel sick, hard rock isn't really my thing, and I'm not really into the twangy kind of country music that uses that one instrument that's like a  slidey horizontal guitar (I know, so technical).  I guess I'm not as eclectic as I thought.  I like classical music (actually I'm more of a Romantic period type), and I'm afraid to admit that I like a lot of oldies, including 80's music, and even new age (like Enya) --but only when I'm really in the mood for it, and while we're confessing things ...I have a disney heroin / broadway favorites sing-along mix I made for when I feel like belting it out in the car ...on my own ...with the windows up.

I'm sure you wanted to know that, but don't you agree that different music is good for different things?  Like U2 is good for car trips through the desert in the Summer, and Enya is good for ...soaking in the tub on a rainy day (okay, so I just made that up), and Jack Johnson is great for home video montages.  But I digress.

Still, most of my listening habits consist of acoustic stuff, folk, indie rock, blue grass, etc... and I'm pretty non-committal when it comes to naming groups because it's not very often that I like all their music.  I'm also bad at paying attention to and remembering what is what.  There are so many great songs and groups I couldn't possibly mention them all here (the more I think about it, the more I realize this would be a very long post if I did), and still there's plenty that I haven't even discovered yet!

Okay, so basically, if you want to know what kind of music I like, you'd have to let me listen to something and ask me if I like it.  Of course, it might all depend on what mood I'm in.  Picky?  Yes.  However, if you don't ask me, I probably won't notice or care anyway, and that's a good thing.  Very rarely do I ask my husband to turn off something, so if I don't say something, generally speaking, I like it.  Confused yet?  Never mind.

So why am I rambling on about this?  Well it's really all because I wanted to share a new group I just discovered with you. I am always mesmerized by their videos, in fact, I think that's their thing --a new medium called VideoSongs, and I highly recommend them. They make me smile. The only problem with this group is that their songs get stuck in your head really easily.

Favorites are:

Little Things,
Makin' Out,
Another Day,
Mr. Sandman,
Bust Your Kneecaps,
If You Think You Need Some Lovin',





I also realize that I'm not usually a big fan of female vocals, but this girl is an exception.

The Poor Man's Bumbo

Feelin' Crafty: 'Tale of Two Toys' cloth book

So, this is one of those posts to make me feel better about myself, even if it was a long time ago that I did this, I thought I'd share it here.

One (kind of) finished product, and two un-bound pages.

My husband and I like to give handmade gifts for Christmas, and two years ago we were giving gifts to his brother's family who has two boys close to the same age as our own, and so I thought I'd double up on the project.

I had the idea of making cloth books when I came across this printable (and washable) fabric.  So many awesome ideas ran through my head.  The one that stuck with me was to take pictures of the toys that I was giving as gifts to the boys and put them together in an adventure story. Then the kids could read it together with their toys and perhaps it would excite their imaginations.  I also wanted to personalize it, so I gave the end a twist to include the boys.

Here's the story: (I had the text on the pictures, but I guess I didn't save that version, so you just get the raw stuff.)

Once upon a time there were two toys who ran away from the store to explore the world outside.

They went to the park to play on the swings,

and the slides.

Sometimes they went to the zoo,

to see the animals.

They often climbed trees,

and watched the beautiful sunsets.

They also made friends

with different animals.

Soon, all the leaves fell off the trees, so the toys made a big pile to play in.

One day it snowed.  The toys decided they needed a home.

Then they had a great idea! They got in special boxes and send themselves to two little boys they had heard of who would take care of them and love them. That way, they could always be together.

THE END

I had a lot of fun taking the pictures for these, and I'm sure we got a lot of weird looks, and you have no idea how much lunch meat I fed to the neighbors cat to get him to sit still close to the toys!   We actually lost one of the toys to a dog in the park who decided it was a play thing, and had to go back to the store to replace it.  We were lucky to get an early snowfall so I could finish the book in time, however, when I did the layout I found that I was short one picture.  I'm sure you can figure out which one was photoshopped -horribly I might add- but the kids don't seem to mind.

I wanted to take pictures of things the boys could relate to --things that they did often, and could even bring their toys along to do as well.  The last picture I did differently for each family, and I'm afraid I didn't have the pictures of my own kids to personalize it for them, but it turned out really cute for their cousins, and apparently they really liked seeing themselves in a book.

All I had to do was print the pictures out on my regular ink jet color printer (the instructions are on the fabric), iron them to set the ink, and sew it all together.

The hardest thing for me was actually the sewing it together--since I really don't sew, and luckily two of my wonderfully talented sister-in-laws helped me with that part.  Still, my design for the cover could have been better.  Maybe next time I'll figure it out.

Over all, it was an easy yet somewhat time consuming project --since it spanned over at least a few months, but it didn't really have to.
And did the kids really appreciate it?  Kind of, but it hasn't been until recently (two years later) that they've really taken much interest.  Maybe they were just too young before, but now they've been asking me to read it to them more often. If nothing else, it's fun for me to read because it serves as a reminder of good times and I have fond memories associated with it.

Favorite pictures: The awesome sunset we were lucky to catch, and the giraffes at the zoo.

New Year's Resolution: Getting Things In Line

I saw these clouds all lined up while driving through Idaho and had to take a picture.  Cool huh? 

I generally hate the word Goal. I actually don't believe in goals, because my experience with them has been such that in my mind the word has become synonymous with failure.  Goals are just something to eventually give up on.

Sounds really motivating huh?

I'm sorry, but I guess I'm easily discouraged, and so when I make a goal and things don't go as planned, it might as well have been a distant wish, and once the merest hint of failure creeps in, the goal inevitably and magnificently falls by the wayside.

So generally, the New Year holds no special meaning for me.  I'd rather not set myself up for such disappointment, so I generally don't set goals.  However,  this year I'm trying to look at it in a different way.

I don't know if I mentioned this, but last month I turned 30.  Yes, the big 3-0.  Actually I don't care that I'm getting older, the number is meaningless,  I am only a little saddened by the fact that I've felt 30 since I had my first child.  With that first pregnancy, I gained a lot of weight, and afterwards it didn't come off.  After my son was about 9 months old, and sleeping through the night --even sleeping in until 9 a.m., I was still so tired I found that it was all I could do to get up with him and lie on the floor next to him while he played.  I didn't think that was normal, but attributed it all to the weight, which I blamed completely on myself for having a lack of self control or something, and basically I was miserable and depressed. Isn't that so typical?
Anyway, shortly after that, I went to a doctor for a recurring cold, and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism.  Yada yada long story short, after two more kids and periods of almost feeling good enough to almost try and exercise, (and yes, I am being redundant on purpose) I've decided that the time has come for me to try something new.  Yes, I went to a new doctor, and yes I changed my meds, and perhaps he'll have one or two more things to have me change or take or do differently, but this is more than that.

Now this isn't your typical new year's resolution to lose weight, nor is it even a goal to stay off sugar for a year or something ridiculous like that.  This is a desperate, hit-rock-bottom-can't-go-on-like-this mid-course correction.

It involves not just focusing on my physical health, but getting my mental health and spiritual health in line as well.

You see, I am a pretty good mom (if I do say so myself).
I am an okay wife I think.  I take care of my husband pretty well.
However, I am a horrible self. I do not take care of me.  When I do, I feel selfish.  (The only thing that I do for myself is steal sleep, because when I'm sleeping, I generally don't feel the guilt... I guess. Oh, and blog occasionally, but I do feel guilty about that.)  My husband has so graciously given me a "day off" every other week or so, which consists of a few hours without the kids to get out and do whatever I want to do.  My last "day off" I spent getting the oil changed in our van. Does that tell you something about me?
Half the time I don't even realize that I'm doing it --shoving my wants and needs and interests aside not taking the time for things that would help me be happy, or feel good about myself, or to become better; and even if I do realize it, frankly, I just don't believe I have time for it (I have to admit I have never wanted to walk out of a relief society meeting more than when I went to a workshop about time management).  Of course, what results is me rushing around frantically, trying to get everything done, trying to be everything to everybody, and all-the-while resenting it, feeling picked on, or rather, like a martyr, hoping that someone will appreciate the sacrifice I'm making... and ultimately failing.  Oh yeah, and I try to make myself feel better by sneaking chocolate, among other things.
It's an unhappy existence to say the least, not to mention counterproductive.

I believe that if I could turn this around, I could be an awesome mom, and an amazing wife -- but I'm not going to strive for awesomeness; that's what I've been doing.  I'm not going to aspire to be amazing; I always fail.

This year, I'm going to focus on me.

I may feel like I'm a horrible mom, I may feel like I'm not taking care of my husband, (but I suspect that it will be good for them in some ways, and honestly, they will be taken care of. I'm not heading off on a year long vacation or anything).
But I'm not going to feel guilty about spending time on myself --whether it means saying no to sharing the shower with rambunctious toddlers just to save time, or perhaps splurging on some real running shoes so exercise doesn't have to be any more painful than it already is, and maybe I'll even get my hair cut more than once per year --and actually take the time to do it instead of twisting it up in a soggy mass with a clippy, hoping that it will somehow dry on its own and thinking that it doesn't look too bad.

Okay, it will take some time, but I will find better examples of how to take time for myself.

Not all of the "focus on me" kinds of things will be indulgent of course.  Some will be less comfortable.  For example, I will be making some minor changes in my eating and exercising habits, but ones that fit me, and feel natural.  Yes, I plan to make a habit of counting calories sparkpeople style, but I am also making it a personal goal to eat sugar every day (now that's my kind of measurable and attainable goal, ha!).  Ultimately, its not about being skinny, or looking better; it's about being healthy, and having energy, and enjoying life for once!

As far as the spiritual side of my plan goes, it can't just be a "goal" in the measurable and attainable sense of the word.  That is too finite --meaning with a beginning and an end; however, there is no end to spiritual growth, and spirituality is not measurable.  So like my "To Do"  v.s. "To Be," I am not making a goal, I am making a decision, a commitment; to be more concerned about spiritual things, to be a better disciple, to be more Christlike in my communications, be more faithful, patient, charitable, loving and kind... and if I want to be less vague, rather than list all the things I would have "to do" to achieve this, all I need is to think at any given moment, "Who am I?" the answer being things such as, "A person who... reads their scriptures, or ...does their visiting teaching, or ...is patient, or ...shows gratitude to heavenly father for their talents by practicing and blessing other people's lives with them...  etc." and making sure my actions are lining up with who I want to be, and who God wants me to be.

Over all, I'm going to work on being the best me I can be, and I think all the other things will fall in line.

Wish me luck.