Waiting waiting...

So if you haven't noticed, my blog has been rather sparse for quite a while.  I have many excuses I suppose, but I won't bore you with them now; after all, what's the use?
As for trying to catch up, I doubt that's going to get this post posted, because of course there's too much to cover...(we've been over this before) but the real reason is that I haven't been very good at picture taking lately, or even of doing anything noteworthy at all.  We've been pretty boring around here.
To be honest, if I were to catalog what we've been up to for the last two months, I'd have to say it was about 25% sleeping, 15% eating unhealthy foods, 10% being sick and visiting doctors (seriously, one broken arm, three cases of strep, one case hand foot and mouth, one tonsillectomy, and one case of rotovirus, plus all the follow up visits as well as my many OB appointments, I think I averaged 2-3 visits to the Dr. per week over the last two months), let's see where were we? ... oh yes, 5% holiday stuff, and 45% TV and Video/Computer games.  You don't need pictures of that.  Just imagine all of us as zombies, and you'll have a pretty good idea of what it's been like.  Just imagine me as a really big pregnant zombie.  If I get around to downloading them, I may post a picture or two that I let my husband take one rare day when I was actually dressed and not in my bathrobe, but no promises.

As far as this baby goes, we're counting down the days.  Actually, I was hoping to be induced a few days ago on the 6th, just a week before the due date, but this baby won't be pushed around.  The other times I was induced, it was for medical reasons --hypertension, and a kidney stone, but this time was going to be purely for convenience --my husband has until next week off and I'd like him to be around to help.  So far, the powers that be don't think that's a good enough reason so my body has remained un-induceable with a floating baby and a not-even-close-to-effaced cervix, but maybe that's a little TMI.
Either way, this baby is coming on his own terms, not mine. It's probably foreshadowing his stubborn personality, but I'll try not to cast aspersions this early in our relationship.

In reality, I'm just a big complainer.  I  really do believe that things will all turn out for the best. In fact, I've already had one confirmation this week that my plans were not what God had in mind for me (a post for another day), so I'll just trust Him to keep ignoring my petty wants and impatient pleas and let Him do His thing. It always turns out better that way.

Random post about Books and Families

I picked up a book at the DI.  It was a book I hadn't read since I was in first or second grade, but I remembered liking it so much I bought it so my kids could read it.
I don't know how many of you are familiar with The Boxcar Children, but it was a chapter book originally written back in 1924 for young readers.  There are actually over a hundred books under the Boxcar Children name, only 19 of which were written by the original author.  I never got into those subsequent books though, I didn't really care for them, all I cared for was the original.
So upon bringing the book home, I opened it up to be reminded of what it was like, and suddenly I was whisked back in time. I didn't realize how much this book affected and shaped my childhood play.  I ended up reading it from cover to cover over the last two days, not just because the story was so engrossing, but because the feelings and memories associated with it were so strong.

In a nutshell, it is about 4 orphaned siblings who run away and set up house in an abandoned rail car.  Their ages range from 14-6, the oldest and youngest being boys. 

I loved the idea of surviving simply upon one's resourcefulness and wits on the periphery of civilization yet beyond the conventions of modern society. And I'm afraid that being an orphan, or at least a runaway, was highly romanticized in my youth (nothing personal Mom). :)

Thinking back on some of my favorite books as a young person, I realize that this was a popular theme even as I grew older:

My Side of the Mountain, --NY runaway who lives in the forest

Island of the Blue Dolphins, --Orphan who lives on deserted island

The Cay, --shipwreck survivors who live on an island

Call it Courage, --storm tossed boy who is lost and left to survive on a island

Julie of the Wolves, -- Eskimo runaway who lives on the tundra

Wolves of Willoughby Chase --runaway orphans (although they don't do it all on their own, they have help.  I just liked the secret passageways in their house).

Hatchet --plane crash survivor

Just to name a few.*


I recall all sorts of games my younger sister and I played which involved us being somehow lost or orphaned and having to survive on our own.  Most often our yard became an island, with the wheat fields around us easily imagined as the vast expanse of ocean which we occasionally checked for ships. If my mother or any other member of the family showed up on our island, they were explained away as the native cannibals that inhabited the island --generally to be avoided-- and my cat, the ferocious man-eating tiger (which we eventually tamed and befriended because we were sick of running away screaming each time she came near).  On the other hand, if we were runaway orphans, my mother was either the evil headmistress, or the kind cook who smuggled us food unbeknownst to the evil Master of the house ...depending on the mood of the day.

My sister and I even went so far as to start writing our own book based on our pretend games. We were in 2nd and 3rd grade I believe, and the the basic premise of the story was that of two girls --the sole survivors of a plane crash, who washed up on a tropical island and had to survive on their own for an indeterminate time. The story is really laughable.

Ah yes, those were the good old days.

Anyway, back to this book which sparked so much reverie, The Boxcar Children.
I believe it was one of the first chapter books I ever read.  It is written simply and is easy for young readers to understand.  It glosses over any distressful things such as any details of how their parents died, and simply leaves out mundane details that kids might not think to ask but made me curious as I read, such as where do they go to the bathroom?  (Okay, so maybe kids these days would think of that, along with my immature self, but back in 1924 it wasn't something anybody talked about.) Barring the fact that the story is super simplified and everything works out so conveniently (it is a children's book after all), I was actually really impressed with the undercurrent of cheerfulness, selfless concern, maturity, and the skill and industry that the children exhibit.
They build a fireplace, and a makeshift refrigerator of sorts behind a waterfall, glean useful items from a nearby dump, even manufacturing their own tools and such out of bits and pieces of stuff they find there. The girls cook, sew, do laundry by hand, gather blueberries, and care for their younger brother as well as an injured stray dog. The oldest boy, exhibiting responsibility and independence, earns money by offering to do odd jobs at the home of an elderly Dr. as well as procuring leftovers from thinning the vegetable garden, some bent nails to be straightened and reused and an extra hammer he finds while organizing the garage which the old man is happy to give him. With his money he purchases milk and bread and ingredients for the girls to cook with. With the nails he builds a cart to haul rocks and together they build a dam across the stream to make a pool to bathe in.
The girls are motherly and skilled, the oldest boy is hard working and resourceful.  How many things in our popular culture today actually promote such ideals?  I'm coming up blank. I know this is only fiction, and in real life those kids would most likely have come to very unfortunate circumstances, but why stop promoting those kinds of attitudes?

Another book that I loved growing up was not on the list because the kids weren't necessarily on their own, and also because it's not really fiction, although it is written for kids, is that of the Laura Ingall's Wilder series.  Now there's a lesson in self-sufficiency and hard work.  Even within those stories, not everyone was cut out to make it on their own, but the whole series celebrates the freedom and independence and joy --yes joy of a job well done and living upon the fruits of one's labor and knowing how to provide and survive on the basic necessities of life.  In fact, the only antagonist, if you can call her that, I can think of is Nellie Oleson --the little girl in town who has everything and never has to work a day for any of it and who is so spoiled and mean that she really isn't very happy.
I'm afraid that the world today is filled with Nellie Olesons.

I mean, what happened? When did work become our enemy? When did comfort and ease become so important?  When did complaining cease to be considered ill-manners? In fact, what happened to manners at all? I mean, I know it wasn't all rosy, and that things weren't always ideal --I suppose I can be grateful that the "children should be seen and not heard" was left behind, although there are times when I wish I could apply it in my home... but honestly, sometimes I'd like to go back to the good old days, when hard work was the rule not the exception, people -even kids were empowered and taught how to survive and to rely on their own knowledge and industry rather than to wait for hand-outs from parents or the government.

I wouldn't give up modern medicine though, or transportation  ...or laundry machines...or flushing toilets...

Okay, so I'm not quite as idealistic as I sound, but at the very least, I can strive to foster these principles in my own home as much as possible.



Speaking of nurturing good principles through books, the annual Celebration of the Family Proclamation is going on right now through the 28th (you may have noticed the button in the side bar of my blog, see how I participated last year by clicking here).  Today's post was inspired by another great post about books for children that exemplify happy family relationships with a wonderful list of books that I think everyone should read.  (Probably more uplifting than my measly list of orphan and survivor stories, although you may notice my comment includes another book about an orphan). Anyway, check out all their other posts by clicking on the sidebar button and scrolling back through posts of the past week (there's been some really great ones), and following links to the other two blogs that are hosting this celebration. (When it's over I'll try to have a link to the main index page that lists all the posts and articles of past years --they're really all so great.)

Anyway, those are my random thoughts for the day.  Kinda random for being MIA for a few weeks I know, but hey it's better than nothing right?



(*Disclaimer: depending on your views, some of the books I listed are more appropriate for older children because the serious nature of surviving on one's own could be distressing to young children, and some parts could be a bit graphic.  Reviewing this list and googling certain titles, I am actually surprised at how many of them had been pulled from the shelves of libraries at one time or another, and equally surprised at what age I remember reading them.  Kids are so sheltered these days when it comes to human suffering, yet so exposed when it comes to sinful behavior.)

Sacrament Meeting Talk: "Preparing Ourselves and our Families to go to the Temple"

We had the opportunity to give talks in sacrament meeting today.  

Because we move around so often, we generally get to talk about twice a year.  I love it! (okay not so much the actual delivery, or the staying up until 2:00 the night before because I'm such a procrastinator, but I love the process and the very specific direction it gives my study).

Anyway, for anyone who is interested, this is more or less the talk I gave today. (I write it down for my records, but try not to read it when I actually give it.  How do you do talks?)

 

We forgot our camera --all we had was my husband's phone. I guess we'll just have to go back. :)

 Preparing Ourselves and Our Families to go to the Temple

This past Friday, we had the opportunity as a family to go to the Boise Temple open house.  Although our children are young, I wanted to give them an opportunity to see the inside of the temple, feel the spirit there, and to hopefully gain a desire to go there when they are older and when it is a fully functioning edifice dedicated to the Lord. 

We prepared the children by holding an FHE last Monday about temples, and announcing that we would get to go see the inside of the temple in a few days.  We briefly told them what would happen when we went to visit the temple.  We explained how it wasn’t dedicated yet, and that is why anyone, including little children could go through. We talked about what we would see there, and how things would work as we participated in the tour. Like most of our FHE lessons, it was short and to the point, and we moved on to an activity and treats.  We then went on about our week as usual.

When Friday evening rolled around, we rushed to the open house, striving to leave behind the distractions and frustrations of the morning.  It had been a less than ideal day, but we tried to change that as we recognized the importance of this wonderful opportunity.

 As we walked the halls of the temple, the children were subdued and generally reverent. They were duly impressed by the beautiful architecture and recognized some of the things we had talked about. I admit though that we had to move quickly through each room, and I longed to go slower, to take our time and point out certain things to my children. I wished I had done even more preparation with them, and I’m afraid that the white booties on their feet might have made just as lasting an impression as anything.  It was over all too quickly, so after the tour we wandered around the temple grounds allowing the children to explore the outside of the building and to discuss things a little more. It was a little chilly, but we were blessed with a beautiful sunset and we stopped to enjoy it.  As we paused for a moment, I asked my five-year-old son how he had felt in the temple, and with his limited vocabulary he replied, “I felt like… kindness.” 

I don't know that I could have explained what the influence of the Spirit feels like any better.

As I pondered his response, I felt gratitude for a Loving Heavenly Father who blessed our meager efforts –our pitiful attempts at teaching and providing a spiritual experience for our kids, allowing us to forget the unpleasantness of the morning, and still have a fun and meaningful family outing.

I am often humbled at how our seemingly small acts and righteous desires can be magnified beyond our expectations.  It is as if the floodgates of heaven are ready to burst, just waiting for the go-ahead that begins with our simply asking.

Personally, I believe that Heavenly Father wanted our children to have a spiritual experience just as much as we did, if not more, but He needed us to provide the opportunity. That is part of our job as parents.

At the heart of our efforts though, is the goal of actually going to the temple to participate in sacred ordinances.

Preparation for such cannot be done in one quick FHE lesson.  It is a great responsibility and rests upon our shoulders as we prepare individually, and as we teach our children to prepare themselves, to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple.

So how do we prepare ourselves and our children for the Temple?  I’ve come up with three suggestions that can help us.

I.                    Recognize the sacredness of the Temple and the importance of the ordinances performed there. 

II.                  Live as if you have already made temple covenants.

III.                Plan to continue to acquire gospel knowledge and attend the temple regularly.

First, we need to recognize the sacredness of the Temple and the importance of the covenants made there.  There is hardly anything in the world these days that would cultivate such feelings --it seems nothing is sacred.  However, the world can understand the worth of precious things, and knowing this, Jesus in His sermon on the mount used the analogy of throwing pearls before swine (Matt. 7:6). Things that are precious and highly-prized or rare and costly are treated differently; so should we learn to treat sacred things differently.  In a CES broadcast to the youth of the Church back in 2004, Elder D. Todd Christofferson taught that we should dress and act differently in sacred places including our church meetings and especially in and around the temple. How we dress and act is an outward expression of an inward conviction. Sacredness is accompanied by the presence of the Holy Ghost that testifies of truth and if the Spirit is offended by anything within our dress or conduct we would lose that sense of what is sacred.  Elder Christofferson explained,

“When you develop a deepening reverence for sacred things, the Holy Spirit becomes your frequent and then constant companion. You grow in understanding and truth…”

Elder Christofferson also warned,

“On the other hand, those who do not appreciate holy things will lose them. Absent a feeling of reverence, they will grow increasingly casual in attitude and conduct. They will drift from the moorings that their covenants with God could provide. Their feelings of accountability to God will diminish and then be forgotten. Thereafter, they will care only about their own comfort and satisfying their uncontrolled appetites. Finally, they will come to despise sacred things, even God, and then they will despise themselves.”

The commandments of the Gospel, as well as the covenants we make in the temple, are a protection to us as we go throughout this life.  It is a blessing and a privilege to know these things and live accordingly, and it’s never too early or too late to start.

The second way to prepare ourselves and our families to go to the Temple is to live our lives as if we had already made temple covenants. We must teach our children to live according to Church standards regarding honesty, modesty, chastity, living the word of wisdom, etc.  Those who do this will have the companionship of the Holy Ghost to guide them and broaden their understanding. 

Growing up my sisters and I were taught to dress modestly, meaning that we wouldn’t have to change anything about the way we dressed even after we had gone to the temple.  This not only prepared us to go, but it was the beginning of understanding that immodest dress was disrespectful to ourselves as well as to the Lord.  It is not just an arbitrary rule or mere suggestion, if the Lord requires it of His covenant-making people it is because He expects that they understand the reason behind it. This goes back to my first suggestion of reverencing the sacred, and includes sloppy and casual dress or behavior as well. In that same CES broadcast I referred to before, Elder Christofferson explained,

“Some say dress and hair don’t matter—they say it’s what’s inside that counts. I believe that it is what’s inside a person that truly counts, but that’s what worries me. Casual dress at holy places and events is a message about what is inside a person. It may be pride or rebellion or something else, but at a minimum it says, “I don’t get it. I don’t understand the difference between the sacred and the profane.”

In a 1998 devotional at BYU-Idaho (then Ricks College), Elder David A. Bednar as the President of the institution explained the seemingly strict honor and dress codes to students saying,

“My dear young brothers and sisters, the honor code and dress codes are not obstacles designed by out of touch old people to hassle you during your time on the [BYU-Idaho] campus. Rather, the honor code is a lesser law preparation to enter the house of the Lord and make sacred covenants, and the dress code is a lesser law preparation for how you will dress and should act after you entered in to those covenants.  If you struggle at [BYU-Idaho] to obey the lesser and preparatory guidelines contained in the honor and dress codes, then may I candidly suggest that you will not be prepared to make those covenants in the temple.”

Such preparations and principles must be taught in the home.  In the recent October General Conference, Elder Quentin L. Cook called upon parents to combat the sinking morals of society saying,

“Parents, the days are long past when regular, active participation in Church meetings and programs, though essential, can fulfill your sacred responsibility to teach your children to live moral, righteous lives and walk uprightly before the Lord. With President Monson’s announcement this morning, it is essential that this be faithfully accomplished in homes which are places of refuge where kindness, forgiveness, truth, and righteousness prevail. Parents must have the courage to filter or monitor Internet access, television, movies, and music. Parents must have the courage to say no, defend truth, and bear powerful testimony. Your children need to know that you have faith in the Savior, love your Heavenly Father, and sustain the leaders of the Church. Spiritual maturity must flourish in our homes.”

Elder Perry and Elder Perkins also addressed this topic of teaching our children and strengthening families as did many other general authorities in the recent conference.  I encourage you to go back and study those talks, specifically looking for ways we can prepare for entering the temple. It seemed to me that one of the over-arching themes of this last conference was that we must strive to gain a testimony of the Gospel by study and prayer and then seek true conversion through living the Gospel. This is a life-long process, which brings me to my third and final suggestion.

We must plan to continue to acquire gospel knowledge, and plan to attend the temple regularly throughout our lives.

Finally going to the temple is not the end-all destination for true disciples of Jesus Christ. Going for ourselves is an extremely important step in our eternal progression, but if we are truly converted we will understand, and like the fruit of the tree of life in Lehi’s dream, we would rejoice and desire that all may partake (1 Nephi 8:12). Luckily we are blessed to be able to return to the Temple as often as we like as we serve those who have gone on before us by doing those ordinances for them by proxy which they cannot do for themselves.  This is how I understand the scripture that explains, “they without us cannot be made perfect—neither can we without our dead be made perfect.” (D&C 128:15).  I think that in some ways, we would have a harder time becoming perfected if we could not go to the temple over and over again for them, being reminded of our covenants and learning more and more each time we go.

  

In another talk by Elder Bednar, this time from April of 2009, he speaks of conversations he had with emeritus general authorities who later became temple presidents.  He asked them what they had learned as temple presidents that they wished they had better understood as general authorities. The answers that came could be summarized in this way:

“I have come to understand better the protection available through our temple covenants and what it means to make an acceptable offering of temple worship. There is a difference between church-attending, tithe-paying members who occasionally rush into the temple to go through a session and those members who faithfully and consistently worship in the temple.”

How grateful I am that we will soon have the temple in Boise rededicated and functional again.  It is my hope that all of us will try harder to make it to the temple whether for the first time or the 101^st, and that we will make it a regular habit. 

I know that as we do this, and as we diligently strive to teach our families and prepare ourselves, making worthy goals of temple attendance, the Lord will magnify our efforts and bless us.

I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The Pit

In a Religion class I took 10 years ago at BYU-Idaho, we were given an assignment to write a parable. As I brainstormed topics to write about, I came across one of my doodles (that was my idea of taking notes at one point), and this became the inspiration of my parable.

I felt like sharing it today because... one: I think it is pretty good (if I do say so myself), and two: I was reminded of it during the recent General Relief Society broadcast when Sister Linda K. Burton told a similar analogy.  (I just discovered that her analogy was taken from a primary lesson manual, and although I feel that my parable was completely of my own creation, it makes me wonder if it might be a sign that I actually was listening in primary and that those things really do stick.) 
So here it is.  (The numbers are the verses --it was supposed to be written like the scriptures, in case you were wondering.)

The Parable of the Pit

1. In a certain city there was a pit.

2. The breadth thereof was exceedingly large and exceedingly deep and dirty.

3. There happened upon the pit two youths who, not knowing the dangers of the pit and the slipperiness of the sides, did venture too close to the mouth of the pit to peer in and they did fall into the depths thereof.

4. A certain stranger traveling by, hearing their cries, approached the pit.

5. The youths cried unto him saying; Thou who standest on higher ground, wilt thou have mercy on us and rescue us?

6. And the stranger answered and said; Nay, for I see that the pit is exceedingly dirty and I desirest not to be soiled as thou art. And he went his way.

7. Another stranger passing by and hearing the cries of the youths approached the pit.

8. They cried unto him saying; Thou who standest on higher ground, wilt thou have mercy on us and rescue us?

9. Looking into the pit, the stranger answered and said unto them; Nay, for I do not have the means wherewith to pull you out. And he went his way.

10. And the youths were exceeding sorrowful.

11. Yet two strangers traveling together passing by heard the cries of the youths down in the pit and approached.

12. The youths cried unto them saying; Thou who standest on higher ground, wilt thou have mercy on us and rescue us?

13. And the one stranger, straightway lowered his rod into the pit in order to draw them out, but alas, it was lacking in length.

14. The second stranger, seeing the deficiency of the rod, straightway jumped into the pit and built for the youths a ladder that they may all reach the rod and be lifted out of the pit.

15. And when they had done this, the youths rejoiced saying; Blessed be thy name forever, for thou art our saviors, and have shown great mercy upon us for we should have surely perished in the pit!

16. And thus they did cry all the days of their lives.

Translation:

            The youths represent people, who in their ignorance and curiosity, fall into the pit of sin –perhaps bound for the very depths of hell.

             The strangers represent members of the Church.  They stand on higher ground, meaning they uphold their standards and keep the commandments, yet perhaps they are traveling in different directions.

            The first stranger is one who, in his pride, refuses to help those in trouble because he is afraid that it may adversely affect his own standing. He, like a Pharisee, is afraid of associating with anything considered “unclean.” One may wonder which direction he travels when it says, “And he went his way.”

            The second stranger, though he stands on higher ground and looks into the pit wanting to help, is lacking in the resources –perhaps the knowledge, the willingness, and the strength –whereby to pull them out.

            The last two strangers are a representation of our companionship with Christ. He is the one who was willing to descend below it all.  He prepared the way, building the steps of repentance whereby all mankind may be saved through His atoning sacrifice.

            Notice that the ladder is built to be used at the will of the youths. It is by their own strength and choice that they ascend the steps.

            The rod, as in other scriptures, is the Word of God. It is extended to all people and should be kept close at hand by faithful members.

            We, like the unfortunate youths, are all subject to the pits of mortal life and are in constant need of the saving and enabling powers of the atonement. Let us rejoice and praise God continually for his mercy, and let us proclaim these happy tidings all of our days.

It's amazing to me to see how smart I once was, even at 20.  It's not a perfect analogy, but I got an A.
Hope you enjoyed it.

Melons

My babies have big heads.

It runs in the family.

My sister-in-law calls it our "German shaped heads," and indeed we do have German ancestors, but I don't know if one can speak in such generalities...

Okay, so based on principles of perspective and depth, the head sizes in this picture are all wrong,
I think you all know who's the German though. Coincidence? I think not.

Anyway, it makes for difficult deliveries, and sometimes I look at other people's newborns and think -"Man! That one would have been a cinch to give birth to!"

I was reading a lady's blog where she wrote a lovely article about how there is so much spiritual symbolism in the natural childbirth process, and how we were meant to go through pain and suffering when we bring children into this earth and so forth... (did I mention she's a doula or midwife or something?) However, I could only think how grateful I have been for epidurals and that if I hadn't been able to have those (and I still felt plenty of pain by the way) I would have been way too traumatized to appreciate the experience and I most likely would have resented my babies for causing me so much pain.  I applaud women who can have their babies naturally, and I try not to let it make me feel like less of a woman because I don't.  I'll just keep telling myself that their babies don't have as big of heads as mine do.

I have to admit, big heads make for really cute babies, if I do say so myself.

I love how when my baby bends over to pick something up it often ends up in an impromptu somersault.

Gotta love the bed-head too.

And I love how when he looks up at me too quickly he has to stagger backward a few paces just to keep his balance.

Babies are miracles however they are born, and everyone can have the deeply spiritual experience of knowing that this little spirit came straight from heaven and was meant for us to take care of regardless of whether we physically brought them into this world (with or without the blessings of modern medicine), or adopted them into our families.
Heaven knows the pain we mothers feel extends beyond the physical kind at delivery.  I think when Eve was cast out of the garden that perhaps some of the sorrow she would experience in bringing forth children wasn't just the physical kind but the kind that comes from watching them use, or should I say misuse, their agency --which was a direct result of the fall.
Still, she wisely chose to focus on the joy and happiness that her children brought her as well as the hope that the plan of redemption gave and she praised God (Moses 5:11-12).
What a wonderful example.

So, when life gives you lemons... just reverse the first three letters and you've got yourself something that's naturally sweet.

(I made that up all by myself.)

((I think I better go to bed.))

Anyway, I was just thinking of all my sisters and friends who are expecting right now (some sooner than others) and I wish them all the best! (plus small baby head circumferences ...not too small though).

Family Proclamation in Pictures (100th post!)

This was inspired by an invitation to participate in the annual family proclamation celebration hosted at a blog I follow.  I've really enjoyed reading articles from this year and years past written by different people about specific parts of THE FAMILY, a Proclamation to the World. You can access those articles by clicking here. If you'd like to use my images, send me an email, my address is at the bottom of this blog.

Sacrament Meeting Talk: "The Principles of Righteousness"

True Doctrine/True Principles

A talk, adapted from Elder Larry Y. Wilson’s conference address: “Only Upon the Principles of Righteousness.”

You might have caught this already, but the theme for this month’s sacrament meetings has been “True Doctrine, True Principles.”  To give direction to my talk, I will be using the April 2012 General Conference address of Elder Larry Y. Wilson, titled; “Only Upon the Principles of Righteousness.”  His talk was mostly directed to parents and leaders as they teach those within their stewardships, but I believe the principles spoken of could be helpful in any situation by anyone wanting to teach and influence others as friends, neighbors, or even as missionaries.

Elder Wilson explained these “Principles of Righteousness” to be those spoken of in D&C 121 when it says that we must act “only, by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness, and meekness and by love unfeigned… by kindness, and pure knowledge… without hypocrisy, without guile… Reproving betimes with ^bsharpness, when ^cmoved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of ^dlove toward him whom thou hast reproved… Let thy ^abowels also be full of charity towards all men… and let ^bvirtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly… The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant ^acompanion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of ^brighteousness and truth…”

Although this section was specifically about the priesthood, Elder Wilson uses it as a pattern for all parents, both mothers and fathers, and leaders in the Church as they help others to build a link with heaven that will provide them the means for personal revelation and to strengthen their faith and testimonies.

As an unfortunate example, I had a non-member friend once tell me that essentially living among members of our Church had turned her off toward ever becoming one of us.  Everyone was always so quick to tell her that she was wrong, and once they saw they couldn’t “dunk” her, they lost interest in her.  Others didn’t even bother talking to her but just sent the missionaries by anonymously.  Still, she was actually interested and had learned enough about our church, and was impressed with those of us that she knew personally, that she told me that she refused to join any other Church because they didn’t accept Mormons.  However, she also refused to join our Church, because she believed that we didn’t accept anyone else.  This isn’t true, but those well meaning neighbors had failed to act upon the principles of righteousness, and exhibit Christ-like love and acceptance of her, whether or not she was ready to hear the Gospel and be baptized.

On the other hand, I recently read an article by another non-member who said this of his Mormon neighbors: “When I first moved to Pocatello, I lived in a cul de sac and seven of my nine neighbors belonged to the LDS Church. Nobody tried to convert me. They invited me to church picnics – no pressure. My next-door neighbor spent nearly two hours one weekday morning (he was late to work) helping me restore my snow blower to life after five years in the humid South. Another helped flush and fix my sprinkler system. A third returned my dogs after they’d escaped. Several just showed up with family members to help me move in. A fourth one tossed me the keys to his Cadillac after the transmission in my Suburban disassembled on my driveway. "Bring it back when you don’t need it anymore," he said.”

Now there’s some kindness, some patience, some love un-feigned.

I admit that even as a missionary these attributes didn’t come naturally to me. I remember when I finally came to the realization that there wasn’t anything I could do or say to make anyone believe that the Gospel was true. I learned the language, I studied the scriptures so I could answer questions and refute erroneous beliefs, and I often reverted to logic to appeal to their intellectual sensibilities, but obviously I wasn’t having much success.  I struggled as I tried to convince my investigators of the truth, and finally it dawned on me. One day as I was reading in 1 Corinthians chapter 2, I came upon these words in vs 4, “And my ^aspeech and my preaching was not with ^benticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the ^cSpirit and of ^dpower:

 5 That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the ^apower of God.” 

Further along in 1st Cor. in chapter 12 vs. 3 I also read that “no man can ^asay that Jesus is the ^bLord, but by the ^cHoly Ghost.”

As I let that sink in, these words came into my head, and I wrote them down;

“God knows what his children need to hear --each of them.  If I am so ignorant to assume that I know what they need to hear based on the little I know about them, I may be successful 1 in 10 times –but the other 9, I will have failed miserably. I cannot do it on my own.  Not any amount of words, no matter how well put, will ever convince anyone of the truth unless the Spirit of the holy Ghost is present, and when that is the case, it can take as little as two: ‘He lives.’”

As a missionary I had not been employing the principles of righteousness I just mentioned.  I had been impatient, in some ways, arrogant, and ultimately I had failed to allow these investigators to feel the Holy Ghost and to come to know for themselves the truthfulness of the Gospel.  In a way, I had been exercising unrighteous dominion over them. As soon as I stopped trying to prove and started trying to love, the Holy Ghost was there to bear witness of what we were teaching, and we started seeing success.  Not that it was our success, but our investigators were successful in seeking and finding the answers they were looking for, and gained strong testimonies of the truth.

This same principle applies to teaching our children.

Not only do we have to teach them about the world around them, it’s dangers and pitfalls, as well as how to regulate themselves and act appropriately, but we must teach them how to find their own way, relying on the lord, and making their own choices.  We cannot make their choices for them, and we cannot force them to do what’s right.  They need to develop their own testimonies, and forge a link with heaven, so that they will have a source of personal strength and guidance.

Elder Wilson said, “Our children are in our homes for a limited time. If we wait until they walk out the door to turn over to them the reins of their moral agency, we have waited too long. They will not suddenly develop the ability to make wise decisions if they have never been free to make any important decisions while in our homes. Such children often either rebel against this compulsion or are crippled by an inability to make any decisions on their own.”

“…helping children exercise their agency properly requires teaching them how to pray and receive answers to their prayers. There must also be teaching about the value and purpose of obedience as well as about all other essential principles of the gospel.”

As a parent, I am given daily opportunities to teach and guide my children to become more independent, and to develop their faith and trust in the Lord.  Not that I always take those opportunities—I am far from perfect and to tell you the truth, I think this is why I was asked to give this talk, because I need help in this area. 

Luckily the Lord will give us indicators along the way to help us change our course if we stray.  One Sunday, during Sacrament meeting, I noticed my 4 yr old sitting so quietly folding his arms, so I decided to take the opportunity for some positive reinforcement.  I leaned over and told him “You’re being so good and reverent, I’m really proud of you and I love you.”  He turned to me sweetly, giving me a hug, and then whispered in my ear, “And what are you going to give me?”

Like I said, I’m not perfect.

I’m afraid I often catch myself, in answer to their many “why’s,” saying, “Because I told you so!”  or, “I”m not in the mood to explain, just take my word for it.”  This is not very patient or loving, I know.

I also I realize though that as I shelter them protect them from making mistakes, I am not allowing them to make choices and learn for themselves. In a way, my so-called “love” for them takes away opportunities for growth and development. 

Elder Wilson addressed this saying, “Wise parents prepare their children to get along without them. They provide opportunities for growth as children acquire the spiritual maturity to exercise their agency properly. And yes, this means children will sometimes make mistakes and learn from them.”

He went on to tell a story about when his daughter was a teenager and played on a soccer team.  The team went to the championships, and it just so happened that the championship game landed on a Sunday.  She asked her parents what she should do and they read some scriptures with her and counseled with her about what kinds of activities were appropriate for the Sabbath. But in the end they encouraged her to pray about it and ultimately left the decision up to her.

Well, she chose to play the game.  Now what could they do but let her?

As her mother picked her up after the game, their daughter, with a downcast look said, “That felt awful!  I never want to feel that way again.”

I don’t think she could have learned that lesson quite so well if they hadn’t let her make that choice for herself and experience the consequences.  It’s ok to let kids make these small mistakes while they’re young, so that they avoid making bigger mistakes, when the stakes are higher, later on in life.  Of course, all within reason. 

I am not a perfect parent, but I am trying.  I know that as I do, and as I rely on the Lord, applying and internalizing these principles of righteousness, not only can I teach others and help them to make this important link with heaven, but I can also become more Christ-like, and ultimately, come closer to reaching my own divine potential. 

I know that our Father in Heaven has perfected these things, showing us the ultimate example in how He teaches us, His children; and as we develop these principles of righteousness in ourselves, we can become more like Him, and receive all that He has.

The Hills are Alive...

....and they're going to eat me...  Aaa-a-a-aahh.


I went for a hike with the boys the other day while my husband was at work.   Now, I've never been afraid of the woods.  I grew up going camping and hiking on a regular basis, and at times I felt more at home there than anywhere.  However, as I hiked through this forest, with my little ones surrounding me, I was suddenly panic-stricken.  What if something happened?  What if a bear, or a mountain lion, or even wolves for that matter, thought my baby sounded like something to eat?  What if one of those dumb cows by the side of the road, or even worse, a mama moose, decided to take offense at something and charge!?  What if, what if, what if...?  It was making me paranoid.

I wasn't too concerned with minor injuries, nettles, bees, whatever.  I was worried about having to fight off some ferocious animal with a baby strapped to my back.  It probably didn't help that there were "Be Bear Aware" signs all over, and we were packing yummy-smelling peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
As we lost sight of the car, I heard a really strange noise, similar to what I might imagine a cougar to sound like, but lower and kinda garbled.  There were cows on the other side of the clearing, but this didn't sound like any cow.  As I seriously considered making a run for the car, I looked around at the docile creatures, and decided that if the cows weren't concerned that I wouldn't be either.  I said a quick prayer (one of many that day), grabbed a big stick, and kept going.

We actually had a really great time!  It was a lovely hike, and a beautiful day.  We enjoyed our little picnic and when the trail ended, the boys wanted to keep going, so we just hoofed it up through the trees, higher and higher, exploring as we went.

We saw a lot of really cool things on the way,

and experienced a few firsts...

 The baby, even though we went way past his nap time, just chilled in the backpack, soaking it all in.  He loved it.

As we went back down the mountain and down the trail, the boys couldn't resist the urge to let gravity take them faster and faster, running, leaping, flying.  We were almost to the place we left the car, but still, I felt those imaginary cords that bind them to me tighten as they got just a little too far for comfort.  I called, to no avail, as they disappeared out of sight.

The panic, which had left for the most part, suddenly came back as I noticed the cows across the way jump up and start running down the canyon. More and more cows appeared from somewhere to the right.  Fears of what might be scaring them, and a possible stampede ran through my head.  As I rounded the next bend I saw the car, and my two little boys almost to it.  Thank goodness for keyless entry and power sliding doors.  I pushed the button on my key chain so the kids could easily hop into the car, and once they were safely inside I finally felt a sense of relief.

Ah, motherhood.  I know it will always be like this.  I will never stop worrying.

Of course, the cows were just afraid of us, and now, because nothing ever happened, I feel a little silly about all my fears.  However, I'm glad that I didn't give up and give in to them, letting them get in the way of our beautiful day.

Still, I might purchase a can of bear spray before next time, just in case.