What a Guy!

I came home from shopping and running errands with the kids to find these on my table the other day. My husband had picked them while at work, and left them anonymously where I would find them (and yes, I didn't lock my door).  Aren't they beautiful?!  What a sweet guy.

(We won't mention the fact that the first person I suspected was my sister. --It just goes to show what a good arrangement he did, right?)

Sacrament Meeting Talk: "The Principles of Righteousness"

True Doctrine/True Principles

A talk, adapted from Elder Larry Y. Wilson’s conference address: “Only Upon the Principles of Righteousness.”

You might have caught this already, but the theme for this month’s sacrament meetings has been “True Doctrine, True Principles.”  To give direction to my talk, I will be using the April 2012 General Conference address of Elder Larry Y. Wilson, titled; “Only Upon the Principles of Righteousness.”  His talk was mostly directed to parents and leaders as they teach those within their stewardships, but I believe the principles spoken of could be helpful in any situation by anyone wanting to teach and influence others as friends, neighbors, or even as missionaries.

Elder Wilson explained these “Principles of Righteousness” to be those spoken of in D&C 121 when it says that we must act “only, by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness, and meekness and by love unfeigned… by kindness, and pure knowledge… without hypocrisy, without guile… Reproving betimes with ^bsharpness, when ^cmoved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of ^dlove toward him whom thou hast reproved… Let thy ^abowels also be full of charity towards all men… and let ^bvirtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly… The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant ^acompanion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of ^brighteousness and truth…”

Although this section was specifically about the priesthood, Elder Wilson uses it as a pattern for all parents, both mothers and fathers, and leaders in the Church as they help others to build a link with heaven that will provide them the means for personal revelation and to strengthen their faith and testimonies.

As an unfortunate example, I had a non-member friend once tell me that essentially living among members of our Church had turned her off toward ever becoming one of us.  Everyone was always so quick to tell her that she was wrong, and once they saw they couldn’t “dunk” her, they lost interest in her.  Others didn’t even bother talking to her but just sent the missionaries by anonymously.  Still, she was actually interested and had learned enough about our church, and was impressed with those of us that she knew personally, that she told me that she refused to join any other Church because they didn’t accept Mormons.  However, she also refused to join our Church, because she believed that we didn’t accept anyone else.  This isn’t true, but those well meaning neighbors had failed to act upon the principles of righteousness, and exhibit Christ-like love and acceptance of her, whether or not she was ready to hear the Gospel and be baptized.

On the other hand, I recently read an article by another non-member who said this of his Mormon neighbors: “When I first moved to Pocatello, I lived in a cul de sac and seven of my nine neighbors belonged to the LDS Church. Nobody tried to convert me. They invited me to church picnics – no pressure. My next-door neighbor spent nearly two hours one weekday morning (he was late to work) helping me restore my snow blower to life after five years in the humid South. Another helped flush and fix my sprinkler system. A third returned my dogs after they’d escaped. Several just showed up with family members to help me move in. A fourth one tossed me the keys to his Cadillac after the transmission in my Suburban disassembled on my driveway. "Bring it back when you don’t need it anymore," he said.”

Now there’s some kindness, some patience, some love un-feigned.

I admit that even as a missionary these attributes didn’t come naturally to me. I remember when I finally came to the realization that there wasn’t anything I could do or say to make anyone believe that the Gospel was true. I learned the language, I studied the scriptures so I could answer questions and refute erroneous beliefs, and I often reverted to logic to appeal to their intellectual sensibilities, but obviously I wasn’t having much success.  I struggled as I tried to convince my investigators of the truth, and finally it dawned on me. One day as I was reading in 1 Corinthians chapter 2, I came upon these words in vs 4, “And my ^aspeech and my preaching was not with ^benticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the ^cSpirit and of ^dpower:

 5 That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the ^apower of God.” 

Further along in 1st Cor. in chapter 12 vs. 3 I also read that “no man can ^asay that Jesus is the ^bLord, but by the ^cHoly Ghost.”

As I let that sink in, these words came into my head, and I wrote them down;

“God knows what his children need to hear --each of them.  If I am so ignorant to assume that I know what they need to hear based on the little I know about them, I may be successful 1 in 10 times –but the other 9, I will have failed miserably. I cannot do it on my own.  Not any amount of words, no matter how well put, will ever convince anyone of the truth unless the Spirit of the holy Ghost is present, and when that is the case, it can take as little as two: ‘He lives.’”

As a missionary I had not been employing the principles of righteousness I just mentioned.  I had been impatient, in some ways, arrogant, and ultimately I had failed to allow these investigators to feel the Holy Ghost and to come to know for themselves the truthfulness of the Gospel.  In a way, I had been exercising unrighteous dominion over them. As soon as I stopped trying to prove and started trying to love, the Holy Ghost was there to bear witness of what we were teaching, and we started seeing success.  Not that it was our success, but our investigators were successful in seeking and finding the answers they were looking for, and gained strong testimonies of the truth.

This same principle applies to teaching our children.

Not only do we have to teach them about the world around them, it’s dangers and pitfalls, as well as how to regulate themselves and act appropriately, but we must teach them how to find their own way, relying on the lord, and making their own choices.  We cannot make their choices for them, and we cannot force them to do what’s right.  They need to develop their own testimonies, and forge a link with heaven, so that they will have a source of personal strength and guidance.

Elder Wilson said, “Our children are in our homes for a limited time. If we wait until they walk out the door to turn over to them the reins of their moral agency, we have waited too long. They will not suddenly develop the ability to make wise decisions if they have never been free to make any important decisions while in our homes. Such children often either rebel against this compulsion or are crippled by an inability to make any decisions on their own.”

“…helping children exercise their agency properly requires teaching them how to pray and receive answers to their prayers. There must also be teaching about the value and purpose of obedience as well as about all other essential principles of the gospel.”

As a parent, I am given daily opportunities to teach and guide my children to become more independent, and to develop their faith and trust in the Lord.  Not that I always take those opportunities—I am far from perfect and to tell you the truth, I think this is why I was asked to give this talk, because I need help in this area. 

Luckily the Lord will give us indicators along the way to help us change our course if we stray.  One Sunday, during Sacrament meeting, I noticed my 4 yr old sitting so quietly folding his arms, so I decided to take the opportunity for some positive reinforcement.  I leaned over and told him “You’re being so good and reverent, I’m really proud of you and I love you.”  He turned to me sweetly, giving me a hug, and then whispered in my ear, “And what are you going to give me?”

Like I said, I’m not perfect.

I’m afraid I often catch myself, in answer to their many “why’s,” saying, “Because I told you so!”  or, “I”m not in the mood to explain, just take my word for it.”  This is not very patient or loving, I know.

I also I realize though that as I shelter them protect them from making mistakes, I am not allowing them to make choices and learn for themselves. In a way, my so-called “love” for them takes away opportunities for growth and development. 

Elder Wilson addressed this saying, “Wise parents prepare their children to get along without them. They provide opportunities for growth as children acquire the spiritual maturity to exercise their agency properly. And yes, this means children will sometimes make mistakes and learn from them.”

He went on to tell a story about when his daughter was a teenager and played on a soccer team.  The team went to the championships, and it just so happened that the championship game landed on a Sunday.  She asked her parents what she should do and they read some scriptures with her and counseled with her about what kinds of activities were appropriate for the Sabbath. But in the end they encouraged her to pray about it and ultimately left the decision up to her.

Well, she chose to play the game.  Now what could they do but let her?

As her mother picked her up after the game, their daughter, with a downcast look said, “That felt awful!  I never want to feel that way again.”

I don’t think she could have learned that lesson quite so well if they hadn’t let her make that choice for herself and experience the consequences.  It’s ok to let kids make these small mistakes while they’re young, so that they avoid making bigger mistakes, when the stakes are higher, later on in life.  Of course, all within reason. 

I am not a perfect parent, but I am trying.  I know that as I do, and as I rely on the Lord, applying and internalizing these principles of righteousness, not only can I teach others and help them to make this important link with heaven, but I can also become more Christ-like, and ultimately, come closer to reaching my own divine potential. 

I know that our Father in Heaven has perfected these things, showing us the ultimate example in how He teaches us, His children; and as we develop these principles of righteousness in ourselves, we can become more like Him, and receive all that He has.

The Hills are Alive...

....and they're going to eat me...  Aaa-a-a-aahh.


I went for a hike with the boys the other day while my husband was at work.   Now, I've never been afraid of the woods.  I grew up going camping and hiking on a regular basis, and at times I felt more at home there than anywhere.  However, as I hiked through this forest, with my little ones surrounding me, I was suddenly panic-stricken.  What if something happened?  What if a bear, or a mountain lion, or even wolves for that matter, thought my baby sounded like something to eat?  What if one of those dumb cows by the side of the road, or even worse, a mama moose, decided to take offense at something and charge!?  What if, what if, what if...?  It was making me paranoid.

I wasn't too concerned with minor injuries, nettles, bees, whatever.  I was worried about having to fight off some ferocious animal with a baby strapped to my back.  It probably didn't help that there were "Be Bear Aware" signs all over, and we were packing yummy-smelling peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
As we lost sight of the car, I heard a really strange noise, similar to what I might imagine a cougar to sound like, but lower and kinda garbled.  There were cows on the other side of the clearing, but this didn't sound like any cow.  As I seriously considered making a run for the car, I looked around at the docile creatures, and decided that if the cows weren't concerned that I wouldn't be either.  I said a quick prayer (one of many that day), grabbed a big stick, and kept going.

We actually had a really great time!  It was a lovely hike, and a beautiful day.  We enjoyed our little picnic and when the trail ended, the boys wanted to keep going, so we just hoofed it up through the trees, higher and higher, exploring as we went.

We saw a lot of really cool things on the way,

and experienced a few firsts...

 The baby, even though we went way past his nap time, just chilled in the backpack, soaking it all in.  He loved it.

As we went back down the mountain and down the trail, the boys couldn't resist the urge to let gravity take them faster and faster, running, leaping, flying.  We were almost to the place we left the car, but still, I felt those imaginary cords that bind them to me tighten as they got just a little too far for comfort.  I called, to no avail, as they disappeared out of sight.

The panic, which had left for the most part, suddenly came back as I noticed the cows across the way jump up and start running down the canyon. More and more cows appeared from somewhere to the right.  Fears of what might be scaring them, and a possible stampede ran through my head.  As I rounded the next bend I saw the car, and my two little boys almost to it.  Thank goodness for keyless entry and power sliding doors.  I pushed the button on my key chain so the kids could easily hop into the car, and once they were safely inside I finally felt a sense of relief.

Ah, motherhood.  I know it will always be like this.  I will never stop worrying.

Of course, the cows were just afraid of us, and now, because nothing ever happened, I feel a little silly about all my fears.  However, I'm glad that I didn't give up and give in to them, letting them get in the way of our beautiful day.

Still, I might purchase a can of bear spray before next time, just in case.

Old and New

My sister when she was very young, sitting on the lap of our grandmother, made the observation, 

"You are old and I am new."

My husband's grandmother just celebrated her 90th birthday. My youngest was pretty interested in her, and she was rather smitten too, but honestly, who wouldn't be?

Look at those doting grandparents.

My In-laws came for a quick lunch as they took a friend from England for a ride through the nearby Grand Teton National Park.  I'm glad we got to visit.

Sorry, I didn't get a very good picture of our friend.  She's a delightful person.  My oldest was fascinated and afterward agreed that she talked like Kipper.  Hope she doesn't mind. :)

We had a lovely visit, and as they were leaving my boys practically begged them to take them with them.

I try not to take it personally.  In fact, I don't blame them.  I'm so glad my kids get to live somewhat close to their grandparents and have them be a part of their lives.  What a blessing.

I think we should get the "old" and "new" together more often.

DIY Mini Terrarium

I know this isn't that original, I see it all over Pinterest, but I thought it would be fun anyway.

All it takes is:
~a jar ( I used a nice big pickle jar, although I've seen it done in lots of things --even big empty light bulbs.  I also have plans to take the paint off the lid),
~some rocks for drainage at the bottom (I got mine at the dollar store, and now I'm kicking myself because I should've just picked up pretty ones near the river instead of wasting money --especially since you can't see them very well anyway),
~some potting soil (I may have put too much in here, but maybe it will compress over time),
~some moss and other little plants. (I gleaned some from a nearby spring, but I know you can buy it all from the store as well.  Then maybe you won't get little stowaways --So far I've found small slugs, tiny beetles and some almost microscopic snails.  Oh, and a mosquito of all things, but I think he adds to the mesozoic theme we've got going, I'm sure they had giant bugs like that --or maybe I've been watching too much journey to the center of the earth).

Look closely, do you see it?

~a small figurine if you want. (I didn't have any cute woodland creatures, but I did have some dinosaurs, so that's what we put in there for fun.)

 ~Add some water and voila!  It's its own little ecosystem in there.  (Although, I open it up and blow in it every once in a while to give the plants some CO2 just in case).

It makes a nice centerpiece.

The kids think it's pretty cool (although it's hard not to want to get that dinosaur out).  We'll see how long it lasts.

Rainbows, Unicorns, and Something Just As Rare... A Controversial Topic..

I know this blog is usually just pretty pictures, funny stories, cool ideas, and thoughts about motherhood and such, but today we're going to take a break from all that.
Now, I'm not usually one to give my opinion on controversial subjects.  Partly it's because I acknowledge that I usually don't have enough of the facts about the subject, I fear that my ideas are half-formed or biased, not to mention that I am hopelessly naive. Plus I'm also aware that there are always exceptions to the rule and I don't like it when people speak in generalities... but mostly it's because I'm a very non-confrontational person and I don't like bringing up anything that could spark an argument with someone who has a different view.

That said, I'm going to bring up a controversial subject... homosexuality.

To be completely honest, this subject simply makes me uneasy, especially considering my faith and upbringing, not to mention various negative experiences I have had in relation to it. I still don't have a complete understanding, nor a strong opinion on this --mostly because I haven't been forced to think about it, and so I just avoid it (I know, I need to pull my head out of the sand), and because I am afraid that my own preconceived ideas and prejudices would probably get in the way of having a very open-minded and respectful discussion.  (Have I mentioned how tactless I can be sometimes?  It's a fault).
However, I was recently introduced to something which not only made me really think, but helped me understand some things, and begin to reconcile some of my erroneous notions (like for example that it's  a choice people make). After reading this together, my husband and I both feel that it has made us better people in some ways, and given us a better understanding of some things.

From a parental standpoint, I find this inspiring in quite a few ways as wise parents and other family members demonstrated love and acceptance while holding true to their beliefs; and from a marital standpoint I am inspired by the sheer faith and dedication, as well as the level of deep connectedness, commitment, understanding, and intimacy that is demonstrated by those involved.

That said, I am sharing this not as an end-all explanation or full description of this issue, it's merely one guy's experience, just another piece to the puzzle, and perhaps it may help someone else out there be a little more open-minded, and a little more charitable towards their fellow human beings.

So without further ado, here's a link to the story of a man who is a member in good standing of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, who is happily married to an amazing woman, has three daughters, and is gay.

I am so impressed by the strength of character and dedication to one's faith that this guy has. He doesn't let the world define who he is --by their definition of the word, nor does he try to cover up or deny who he really is.
The thing that strikes me the most is how he is able to make the distinction between physical feelings and desires, and spiritual conviction and eternal truths that he has come to know.
Isn't that the dilemma that all of us mortal beings struggle with daily?  The battle of the body vs. the spirit?  Don't we all have parts of ourselves that we must conquer or subdue?
I admire this guy's strength to choose and act according to his own conscience regardless of what others think or do themselves, and am inspired by the happy outcome.

One disclaimer that I'd like to throw out there: I admit that in my little world, the story in the link I have shared may seem ideal, but I realize that ideals are often the exception. I am by no means saying that this is the path I think every gay person should attempt to pursue.  The guy in the story equates himself to a unicorn --something rare and mythical, which is probably an apt description. You can put a sparkly horn on a horse, but it still won't be a unicorn.  I could see how trying to force such a situation could cause a lot of confusion, pain, and heartache.  So let's not use this knowledge to judge or set a standard for others who make different choices in their lives.  Let's instead share the message of love and acceptance that it has inspired.

(P.S. I also found this Q/A session with some of our church leaders to be really helpful.)

Naturally...

I love being surrounded by nature.

It invigorates me, fills me with hope, inspires and awes, and I am often overcome with gratitude to my Creator.

This is what I want for my kids --to be constantly filled with wonder. To learn to respect and appreciate the world around them. 

I want them to recognize God's love for them and see His power and majesty. It's in the details.

However, I also have to remember as they explore this world around them, that boys will be boys --and even if I tell them not to (especially if I tell them not to), they're going to touch it.

Ick. What can I do?

The baby appreciates nature in his own way (don't worry I washed it first).  This is why he's usually a  just a spectator.

For now anyways.

A Butcher a Baker, a Candlestick Maker...

Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub...

We don't have a bathtub in the employee housing here.  I don't know why. I guess it has something to do with it being a government institution and they are required to make it handicapped accessible or something (although I don't think they could really hire a person who is handicapped at this physically demanding job, but whatever).  The boys were begging for a bath, which they badly needed (more on that later), and to be honest, I didn't feel like sharing my shower, so this is what we came up with.

(And yes, you will have that song stuck in your head all day now.)

A Walk Down Memorial Lane

The kids and I went exploring.  The road to our favorite canyon was closed so we ended up here.  

How fitting since it was just a few days after Memorial Day.

FYI: Cemeteries are the most colorful right after Memorial Day.

The Jackson Hole Cemetery is the most beautiful cemetery I know.

It's on the side of a mountain, so all the plots are tiered.

It was a little boy paradise.

We talked a bit about mortality, and what happens after we die.  As I tried to avoid scaring them, I might have made it sound too good because both kids decided they wanted to die right now and go to Heaven.  Oops.  So then I had to talk up earth life, which was surprisingly hard to do.

You know what though, mortality isn't supposed to be easy.  It's not all fun and games.

In fact, we probably cried harder when we sent people off into mortality, knowing how difficult, and painful, and lonely it might be, and that some of them might succumb to Satan's lies, forget who they are, and lose the blessings God has in store for His children.
Of course, I didn't tell them that.

Instead, I told them how grateful I am for my life, for my body, for my family, for the things I get to learn and experience --things I couldn't do elsewhere, and for the knowledge we have of Heavenly Father's plan for us.

I'm so glad I get to be their mother, and that I have the opportunity (or rather, the responsibility), to impart to them the things I've come to know and cherish. I have hope that it will guide them throughout their lives, give them direction, and make things a little easier on their journey through this life,

...wherever their paths may take them.