Who Needs It Anyway?

Notice anything different about me?

I don't have a gall bladder!


Yeah, so as we were moving ... like on the way to our new home in Idaho, I started having another pain in my stomach area.  At first I thought it was just indigestion from the Wendy's I had eaten, but honestly, if that is what indigestion really felt like, the people who get it all the time would shoot themselves.  By 1:00 in the morning, I was in the E.R.

They sent me home.

After doing some tests, the doctor was sure he had found my problem --a raging UTI (raging was their word).

Now I may not be an anatomy major, but I think I know where my bladder is, and it is not up under my ribs where this pain was emanating from.

So, I took his pain prescription (some narcotics that made it unsafe to breastfeed my baby) and the doctor referrals (although they didn't do me much good since it was Sunday) and went home.

Well, the powerful pain meds didn't do much, and I spent the whole day writhing in agony.  We called around to the other doctors offices, and to my brother who's a doctor in Washington, and got the same answer.  Everything points to the gall bladder, and we should have had some imaging done -- an ultrasound or something.

So, we went back to the E.R. and demanded an ultrasound.

They admitted me for immediate surgery.

Although there was no infection, my gall bladder was terribly inflamed and there were several stones.

Great, more stones.  But at least I felt validated once again.

Can I just say to that E.R. doctor, "I TOLD YOU SO!"

So I just spent the last few days in the hospital again.

So now you ask, "What did you do with your three children while you were supposed to be moving in to a new home and your husband was supposed to be starting his first days of work?"

Well, that's where the blessings come in.

So, I know I was feeling a little whiny the last time I posted, I hope this doesn't come across as more of the same... but no, that housing never did go through.  We wasted $80 and a week of our lives together on that, but it didn't pan out.  I finally gave up and went back to a place we had found weeks before --luckily it was still available-- and within one day, it was ours.  My mother came and helped me pack and clean, my husband came home and we filled the moving truck, and we were off.

Well, if we had gotten that housing that we had been trying for, and moved on the 11th like we had planned, my mom wouldn't have been here when the gall bladder attack hit.  I honestly don't know what I would have done without her.  She was a Godsend, and I'll be forever thankful for all her hard work.  I mean, it was enough that she packed my things and scrubbed my walls and floors, but then she drove my car to Idaho, sat with me in the E.R. in the middle of the night ...twice... and while I was gone took care of my children and got up with the baby all through the nights to feed and change him. Oh, and she did my laundry and dishes the whole time she was here.

That was definitely a tender mercy of the Lord.  The fact that she could even come and stay for longer than planned, was truly a blessing.

We've had so many blessings.

We were more than lucky.  The attack could have happened earlier in the day on that long car ride to Idaho, and I would have been in misery the whole way. I was completely worthless the moment I got to our new place-- not being able to do much beyond lying on the floor in pain.

I don't know what we would have done without my husband's brother and his wife to help move boxes and furniture out of the moving truck, and to give us a wonderful dinner that lasted two days.

I'm so grateful for my sister-in-law who came to take my two older kids for a day so my husband could get things moved in and my mom could get a rest.

I'm also grateful for my in-laws who are coming this weekend to take care of us for a few days.  The kids love them, and it will be a welcome distraction.

There were so many little things too.  It just so happens that we live a block away from the hospital, which made it a lot easier to find.  I'm also so glad that the baby took a bottle and formula for the first time so well, since I had never tried before this weekend. People from our Church, who we've never even met, are already set up to help take the kids while my husband is at work as soon as the in-laws are gone too. What a blessing!

Someone might ask, "Why did all this have to happen right now, at the worst possible time?" and feel that I've been very picked on.  I admit, I might have thought something like that once or twice... but you know, difficult things just happen, and there is really no good time.

I'm just glad that He softened this difficult time with so many blessings.

Pod Mostem

On my mission in Poland, I lived in an apartment that was right next to a big bridge that went over a major river.  We were kind of below and to the side of it since it was raised up with small shops and parking lots underneath it, but the only way I could describe where we lived in the language was to say that we lived "pod mostem," or beneath the bridge.  Well, one day when I used this expression, some Polish people laughed at me.  They explained that to say you live "pod mostem" was to say you were homeless.  I don't think they could imagine an American being homeless, since all the Americans they knew were quite wealthy by their standards, not to mention that most of their knowledge about America came from Hollywood.

This is the actual bridge in Warsaw. This was practically the view from our front door.

I saw so many homeless people in Poland.  So many begging on the streets, or sleeping on cardboard boxes in the train stations.  It was a big eye opener, and really put things into perspective.  It made me more grateful for what I had, but it also made me really wonder why I had been so blessed.  Why had I been born in a free country, to a family who loved me, and had the blessing of the restored gospel?  I actually felt guilty sometimes.  I mean, what had I done to deserve it all?  I really have no reason to ever whine.

I've been feeling kinda sorry for myself lately.  I've been way stressed out because we were supposed to move this week, but the housing situation we are trying to get into is taking longer than we anticipated.  It's still not a sure thing, and time is running out.  If we do get it, we will be lucky if we can move in next weekend.  In the meantime, my husband is going to have to leave me here all alone, with two kids and a brand new baby, to pack up our house while he attends orientation meetings and such for his work.  He'll come back just in time to help us pack the moving truck and drive back there.  Honestly, just having a new baby and two toddlers is enough to overwhelm me, but to add all that on top of it? ...yeah.

So today, I am counting my blessings.

1. At least we have a home.  We're lucky to be able to stay here until the housing goes through ...and it's free!  What a blessing!
2. At least I have a husband.  Even though he'll be away, it's not a permanent thing --I couldn't ever imagine being a single parent.
3. We are so blessed to have family and friends nearby that can help out, whether it's a grandmother lending my husband a car so he can get where he needs to be and not leave me car-less, or a mother who can come and help me with the cleaning and packing, or neighbors who can watch the kids, or family to help us move in to our new house.  We are so blessed.
4. At least I have my health.  Now that the kidney stone and the pregnancy are over, I'm glad to be free of pain, and am starting to feel a little bit of my energy come back.  Sure, I'm tired all the time from lack of sleep, and still recovering, but overall I'm feeling good.
5. My kids are healthy too.  In fact, they're a little too rambunctious and energetic for me these days, but I wouldn't have it otherwise.

I could go on about money and freedom and the gospel etc., but this has served it's purpose.  Now I don't feel so sorry for myself.

Isn't it great what a little gratitude can do?

Oh yeah, one last thing.
6. At least I don't have to cook dinner tonight because it is being brought to us by members of our ward.  The Relief Society sisters have been bringing us dinner every other night for the last two weeks since the baby was born, and it's been wonderful!

I have to admit, I didn't have that with the last two babies, because 1- we moved right after our first was born and I don't think anyone knew about us, and 2- I was too stubborn and proud to allow people to help with the second.

I've learned my lesson though.  Bless and let bless.  I love making dinners for other people when they need it.  Why should I deny myself the blessings others would like to share, and why should I deny them the opportunity of blessing us, and receiving blessings themselves? --just so I can show everyone that I've got it together?  that I can handle what I've gotten myself into? that I can do it on my own?  That doesn't make any sense.

This time though, I don't pretend to have it all together, and I'm not exactly sure what I've gotten myself into, and I know I can't do it all on my own... but I do know that this is what the Lord intended for me, and He is helping and will help me to do it-- mostly through the service of others.

Not only am I not homeless, but I'm also not alone.

Why am I so blessed?

I am So in Love.

I love his little fingers and toes.

I love his alertness when he's awake.

I love the funny little sounds and faces he makes when he's asleep.

I love his soft warm head on my chest.

I love his "pooping" face, and how he has to hold onto something really tightly while doing his business.

I love the fact that he almost never spits up.

I love how when he's hungry, he tries eating anything that gets close to his mouth, and is quite ravenous about it.

I love feeling his strong yet peaceful spirit.

How could I not be absolutely in love?

His older brothers love him, and are so sweet around him.  

I mean, all my babies are beautiful...  but this one is especially beautiful because he's so good.  Honestly, couldn't ask for a more mild and peaceful baby.  

It may not always be this way, but right now, this is what I need. 

Welcome little one.

You have a family that loves you.