Pod Mostem

On my mission in Poland, I lived in an apartment that was right next to a big bridge that went over a major river.  We were kind of below and to the side of it since it was raised up with small shops and parking lots underneath it, but the only way I could describe where we lived in the language was to say that we lived "pod mostem," or beneath the bridge.  Well, one day when I used this expression, some Polish people laughed at me.  They explained that to say you live "pod mostem" was to say you were homeless.  I don't think they could imagine an American being homeless, since all the Americans they knew were quite wealthy by their standards, not to mention that most of their knowledge about America came from Hollywood.

This is the actual bridge in Warsaw. This was practically the view from our front door.

I saw so many homeless people in Poland.  So many begging on the streets, or sleeping on cardboard boxes in the train stations.  It was a big eye opener, and really put things into perspective.  It made me more grateful for what I had, but it also made me really wonder why I had been so blessed.  Why had I been born in a free country, to a family who loved me, and had the blessing of the restored gospel?  I actually felt guilty sometimes.  I mean, what had I done to deserve it all?  I really have no reason to ever whine.

I've been feeling kinda sorry for myself lately.  I've been way stressed out because we were supposed to move this week, but the housing situation we are trying to get into is taking longer than we anticipated.  It's still not a sure thing, and time is running out.  If we do get it, we will be lucky if we can move in next weekend.  In the meantime, my husband is going to have to leave me here all alone, with two kids and a brand new baby, to pack up our house while he attends orientation meetings and such for his work.  He'll come back just in time to help us pack the moving truck and drive back there.  Honestly, just having a new baby and two toddlers is enough to overwhelm me, but to add all that on top of it? ...yeah.

So today, I am counting my blessings.

1. At least we have a home.  We're lucky to be able to stay here until the housing goes through ...and it's free!  What a blessing!
2. At least I have a husband.  Even though he'll be away, it's not a permanent thing --I couldn't ever imagine being a single parent.
3. We are so blessed to have family and friends nearby that can help out, whether it's a grandmother lending my husband a car so he can get where he needs to be and not leave me car-less, or a mother who can come and help me with the cleaning and packing, or neighbors who can watch the kids, or family to help us move in to our new house.  We are so blessed.
4. At least I have my health.  Now that the kidney stone and the pregnancy are over, I'm glad to be free of pain, and am starting to feel a little bit of my energy come back.  Sure, I'm tired all the time from lack of sleep, and still recovering, but overall I'm feeling good.
5. My kids are healthy too.  In fact, they're a little too rambunctious and energetic for me these days, but I wouldn't have it otherwise.

I could go on about money and freedom and the gospel etc., but this has served it's purpose.  Now I don't feel so sorry for myself.

Isn't it great what a little gratitude can do?

Oh yeah, one last thing.
6. At least I don't have to cook dinner tonight because it is being brought to us by members of our ward.  The Relief Society sisters have been bringing us dinner every other night for the last two weeks since the baby was born, and it's been wonderful!

I have to admit, I didn't have that with the last two babies, because 1- we moved right after our first was born and I don't think anyone knew about us, and 2- I was too stubborn and proud to allow people to help with the second.

I've learned my lesson though.  Bless and let bless.  I love making dinners for other people when they need it.  Why should I deny myself the blessings others would like to share, and why should I deny them the opportunity of blessing us, and receiving blessings themselves? --just so I can show everyone that I've got it together?  that I can handle what I've gotten myself into? that I can do it on my own?  That doesn't make any sense.

This time though, I don't pretend to have it all together, and I'm not exactly sure what I've gotten myself into, and I know I can't do it all on my own... but I do know that this is what the Lord intended for me, and He is helping and will help me to do it-- mostly through the service of others.

Not only am I not homeless, but I'm also not alone.

Why am I so blessed?