10 Reasons I'm not on Facebook.

Face-book, get it?*  

...In no particular order.

#1.  I've never been one conform.  Yes, I'm just a natural rebel.  Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean I'm going to. In fact it probably means I'm not going to (--case in point).

#2.  I don't want to see how many friends I don't have. I don't think my self-esteem could handle it. Okay not really, you see, I'm the close-friend or no friend kind, and close friends keep in touch in other, more personal, ways. yeah... not to mention I don't like people who obviously do link their self-esteem to the number of friends they have on facebook and try to get as many as they possibly can --like that girl I may have had a class with way back in high school but never even talked to, who somehow got her hands on the email list for the class reunion coming up and tried inviting everyone to be her FB friend... it's meaningless.  I also hate making those difficult decisions of who is and isn't technically a "friend."  I mean, if you have a few friends in your school/ward/work/neighborhood/etc. don't you have to "friend" everyone so nobody thinks you hate them? Where does it stop? Ugh.  I'll pass.

#3.  I find it way too voyeuristic.  I feel super guilty when I look at someone's profile, leaf through their picture albums, and check out their friends to see if we still have any in common, all because I'm curious where they ended up, but then I leave no trace that I was even there and never leave a comment.  What a scuzzy thing to do!  And how many scuzzbuckets could do the same thing to me?  (I know, I know, I just need to figure out how to use the privacy settings... I've heard that already.  It's just not worth the effort.) I also have learned things about old friends that I wish I didn't know. Rather than un-friending them, I just decided to un-Facebook myself.

#4.  I find it way too narcissistic.  It's all just a parade.  "Hey look at me! Look at how funny and witty and clever I can be! Look at how hot I can look with just the right picture that may or may not be photoshopped! I know that everyone wants to know exactly what I'm thinking/eating/reading/doing/etc... every minute of the day..."  I don't have any such illusions about my blog of course. :)
I really do try to keep it real.  Sometimes real is boring (--case in point).

#5.  I don't get it!  Not only is the Facebook interface super un-intuitive, but what's with the poking?  I don't like getting poked in real life, why would I care to get virtual-poked?  Is it a positive or a negative thing anyway?

#6. I don't trust any of those third party apps or whatever, you know like the quizzes and things that make you have to sign away your life and all rights to the privacy of anyone in your contacts before you can see what other people answered and such.  The whole "so-and-so answered a question about you, see what they have to say..." is totally playing on some sort of human weakness, and I won't fall for it!

#7.  It doesn't feel very sincere if people only remember my birthday because Facebook had to remind them. Or vice versa-- I'd hate people to think that that's the only reason I remembered, even if it is.

#8.  I don't have time for it.  Seriously, once I get started, I can't stop. It's like getting sucked into a whirlpool.  I have way more important things to do with my time, and I don't need one more time waster.  I'm sorry Facebook, it's me not you.  I just don't have the self-control to handle you.

#9. I inherently dislike it upon principle because of the risk it poses to so many young people who are stupid and make it way too easy for stalkers by "friending" everyone they've ever met and then posting exactly where they're going to be at any given time... duh.  And then there's the risk it poses to marriages when old flames are rekindled, and people of the opposite sex are interacting so much outside of their marriages... I can imagine how the old "grass is greener" paradox could affect a person who finds themselves in a struggling marriage.  Not good.

#10.  Personally I think it's all going to blow up someday.  The owners are going to sell it or it's going to be hacked and everyone's personal information is going to be out there for anyone to misuse.  Either that or (if it's not already) it's going to be secretly used by the government to spy on people (I'm not paranoid...), or used by the advertising industry in a Minority Report-ish fashion, and basically be used to control the general thinking and attitudes of the whole world, making them sway to the tune of the highest bidder. All "Users" will someday become "Useds" and I will laugh sardonically --while simultaneously feeling sorry for everyone of course.


Now, I'm not judging anyone who has a FB account, I'm simply sharing my reasons for not joining. I don't mind that my husband has an account (except that he refuses to "friend my friends," does that make me a hypocrite?).  Actually, I had an account once. I joined once and then un-joined (see #3), and then joined again under violent torture pressure exerted by those whom I call my best friends... and then only "friended" them and refused to comment anywhere but on our secret group... under an alias.  But that doesn't really count.
I admit, I may get back on Facebook someday.  I'd like to get in touch with people from Poland, and perhaps even a few old friends and roommates whom I, regretfully, lost touch with, but until then I'm going to go on blissfully unaware of the random thoughts, deeds, and game scores of my friends and family, as well as miss out on the entertaining memes, clever gifs, inspirational articles, cool pictures, and important news, but at least I won't have to sort through all the dull updates, weird invitations, uninspirational gossip, and political leanings of every person I can't say is not a friend.  :)

So there you have it.

Oh, and here's an entertaining song about Facebook I thought you might like.

I will however say this; that social media and modern technology is going to be how the world sees the second coming all at the same time, so maybe I should get on the bandwagon after all.


(*This image was used without permission from google images.  I am a pirate.  Arrrrr!)