True Doctrine/True
Principles
A talk, adapted from Elder Larry Y. Wilson’s conference
address: “Only Upon the Principles of Righteousness.”
You might have caught this already, but the theme for this
month’s sacrament meetings has been “True Doctrine, True Principles.” To give direction to my talk, I will be
using the April 2012 General Conference address of Elder Larry Y. Wilson,
titled; “Only Upon the Principles of Righteousness.” His talk was mostly directed to parents and leaders as they
teach those within their stewardships, but I believe the principles spoken of
could be helpful in any situation by anyone wanting to teach and influence
others as friends, neighbors, or even as missionaries.
Elder Wilson explained these “Principles of Righteousness” to
be those spoken of in D&C 121 when it says that we must act “only, by
persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness, and meekness and by love
unfeigned… by kindness, and pure knowledge… without hypocrisy, without guile… Reproving
betimes with bsharpness, when cmoved upon by the Holy
Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of dlove toward
him whom thou hast reproved… Let thy abowels also be full of charity
towards all men…
and let bvirtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly… The Holy
Ghost shall be thy constant acompanion, and thy scepter an
unchanging scepter of brighteousness and truth…”
Although this section was specifically about the priesthood,
Elder Wilson uses it as a pattern for all parents, both mothers and fathers,
and leaders in the Church as they help others to build a link with heaven that
will provide them the means for personal revelation and to strengthen their
faith and testimonies.
As an unfortunate example, I had a non-member friend once
tell me that essentially living among members of our Church had turned her off
toward ever becoming one of us.
Everyone was always so quick to tell her that she was wrong, and once
they saw they couldn’t “dunk” her, they lost interest in her. Others didn’t even bother talking to
her but just sent the missionaries by anonymously. Still, she was actually interested and had learned enough
about our church, and was impressed with those of us that she knew personally,
that she told me that she refused to join any other Church because they didn’t
accept Mormons. However, she also
refused to join our Church, because she believed that we didn’t accept anyone
else. This isn’t true, but those
well meaning neighbors had failed to act upon the principles of righteousness,
and exhibit Christ-like love and acceptance of her, whether or not she was
ready to hear the Gospel and be baptized.
On the other hand, I recently read an article by another
non-member who said this of his Mormon neighbors: “When I first moved to
Pocatello, I lived in a cul de sac and seven of my nine neighbors belonged to
the LDS Church. Nobody tried to convert me. They invited me to church picnics –
no pressure. My next-door neighbor spent nearly two hours one weekday morning
(he was late to work) helping me restore my snow blower to life after five
years in the humid South. Another helped flush and fix my sprinkler system. A
third returned my dogs after they’d escaped. Several just showed up with family
members to help me move in. A fourth one tossed me the keys to his Cadillac
after the transmission in my Suburban disassembled on my driveway. "Bring
it back when you don’t need it anymore," he said.”
Now there’s some kindness, some patience, some love
un-feigned.
I admit that even as a missionary these attributes didn’t
come naturally to me. I remember when I finally came to the realization that
there wasn’t anything I could do or say to make anyone believe that the Gospel was true. I learned the language, I
studied the scriptures so I could answer questions and refute erroneous beliefs,
and I often reverted to logic to appeal to their intellectual sensibilities,
but obviously I wasn’t having much success. I struggled as I tried to convince my investigators of the
truth, and finally it dawned on me. One day as I was reading in 1 Corinthians
chapter 2, I came upon these words in vs 4, “And my aspeech and my
preaching was not with benticing
words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the cSpirit and of dpower:
5 That your faith should not stand in the wisdom
of men, but in the apower of God.”
Further along in 1st Cor. in chapter 12 vs. 3 I also read
that “no man can asay that Jesus is the bLord, but by the
cHoly Ghost.”
As I let that sink in, these words came into my head, and I
wrote them down;
“God knows what his children need to hear --each of
them. If I am so ignorant to
assume that I know what they need to hear based on the little I know about
them, I may be successful 1 in 10 times –but the other 9, I will have failed
miserably. I cannot do it on my own.
Not any amount of words, no matter how well put, will ever convince
anyone of the truth unless the Spirit of the holy Ghost is present, and when
that is the case, it can take as little as two: ‘He lives.’”
As a missionary I had not been employing the principles of
righteousness I just mentioned. I
had been impatient, in some ways, arrogant, and ultimately I had failed to
allow these investigators to feel the Holy Ghost and to come to know for
themselves the truthfulness of the Gospel. In a way, I had been exercising unrighteous dominion over
them. As soon as I stopped trying to prove and started trying to love, the Holy
Ghost was there to bear witness of what we were teaching, and we started seeing
success. Not that it was our success,
but our investigators were successful in seeking and finding the answers they
were looking for, and gained strong testimonies of the truth.
This same principle applies to teaching our children.
Not only do we have to teach them about the world around
them, it’s dangers and pitfalls, as well as how to regulate themselves and act
appropriately, but we must teach them how to find their own way, relying on the
lord, and making their own choices.
We cannot make their choices for them, and we cannot force them to do
what’s right. They need to develop
their own testimonies, and forge a link with heaven, so that they will have a
source of personal strength and guidance.
Elder Wilson said, “Our children are in our homes for a
limited time. If we wait until they walk out the door to turn over to them the
reins of their moral agency, we have waited too long. They will not suddenly
develop the ability to make wise decisions if they have never been free to make
any important decisions while in our homes. Such children often either rebel
against this compulsion or are crippled by an inability to make any decisions
on their own.”
“…helping children exercise their agency properly requires
teaching them how to pray and receive answers to their prayers. There must also
be teaching about the value and purpose of obedience as well as about all other
essential principles of the gospel.”
As a parent, I am given daily opportunities to teach and
guide my children to become more independent, and to develop their faith and
trust in the Lord. Not that I
always take those opportunities—I am far from perfect and to tell you the
truth, I think this is why I was asked to give this talk, because I need help
in this area.
Luckily the Lord will give us indicators along the way to
help us change our course if we stray.
One Sunday, during Sacrament meeting, I noticed my 4 yr old sitting so
quietly folding his arms, so I decided to take the opportunity for some
positive reinforcement. I leaned
over and told him “You’re being so good and reverent, I’m really proud of you
and I love you.” He turned to me
sweetly, giving me a hug, and then whispered in my ear, “And what are you going
to give me?”
Like I said, I’m not perfect.
I’m afraid I often catch myself, in answer to their many
“why’s,” saying, “Because I told you so!”
or, “I”m not in the mood to explain, just take my word for it.” This is not very patient or loving, I
know.
I also I realize though that as I shelter them protect them
from making mistakes, I am not allowing them to make choices and learn for
themselves. In a way, my so-called “love” for them takes away opportunities for
growth and development.
Elder Wilson addressed this saying, “Wise parents prepare
their children to get along without them. They provide opportunities for growth
as children acquire the spiritual maturity to exercise their agency properly.
And yes, this means children will sometimes make mistakes and learn from them.”
He went on to tell a story about when his daughter was a
teenager and played on a soccer team.
The team went to the championships, and it just so happened that the
championship game landed on a Sunday.
She asked her parents what she should do and they read some scriptures
with her and counseled with her about what kinds of activities were appropriate
for the Sabbath. But in the end they encouraged her to pray about it and
ultimately left the decision up to her.
Well, she chose to play the game. Now what could they do but let her?
As her mother picked her up after the game, their daughter,
with a downcast look said, “That felt awful! I never want to feel that way again.”
I don’t think she could have learned that lesson quite so
well if they hadn’t let her make that choice for herself and experience the
consequences. It’s ok to let kids
make these small mistakes while they’re young, so that they avoid making bigger
mistakes, when the stakes are higher, later on in life. Of course, all within reason.
I am not a perfect parent, but I am trying. I know that as I do, and as I rely on
the Lord, applying and internalizing these principles of righteousness, not
only can I teach others and help them to make this important link with heaven,
but I can also become more Christ-like, and ultimately, come closer to reaching
my own divine potential.
I know that our Father in Heaven has perfected these things,
showing us the ultimate example in how He teaches us, His children; and as we
develop these principles of righteousness in ourselves, we can become more like
Him, and receive all that He has.
