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| Adrift in a makeshift sailboat. |
I admit, in that last post, I actually kinda intimidated myself with big plans to write something profound or meaningful, and yet, right now I don't feel very profound. I guess I'm really just out of practice.
Thinking profoundly doesn't happen that often when my life seems like an unending sea of diapers and dishes. I'm concentrating too much on what needs to happen next, and how I'm going to do it, and then putting out the small fires such as pee on the carpet, or a toddler who's escaped the house, or a stain that needs to be soaked, or figuring out what I am going to feed my family for dinner (actually, in all honesty I hardly ever remember to soak stains). Yet when things do calm down for a moment, I'm usually trying to get a nap (or wasting that precious naptime by escaping on the blogosphere). Anyway, you get my point. I hardly ever get time to myself to think. Even if I do come up with a particularly insightful thought, it usually gets interrupted and forgotten before I can try it out on someone who might actually understand what I'm saying, so I think I gave up a long time ago.
I recently realized something about myself --and it's really quite sad-- that when I am in social situations it seems that all that comes out of my mouth is, "my baby did this," or "my kid did that." I get so embarrassed of myself by only talking about me that I get more nervous and I begin to really jabber about even more mundane things such as potty training or how I organize my tupperware or something. Maybe, subconsciously, I'm afraid that the other person will come up with some highly intellectual topic of discussion and that I will have nothing to say, so I hog the conversation instead. Wow. Has my life really sunk so low? Please tell me I'm not the only one that does this.
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| Looking for sharks |
I'm hoping that this blog will give me the motivation to start thinking more so I actually have something worthwhile to say, and a place to write it down before I forget it. It'll take some practice I think. For now, I'll just have to go wherever the winds of thought take me.
3 comments:
I am so glad that you shared your "secret blog". I like reading your thoughts. I tend to steer clear of feelings posts (probably for the same reason yours was secret...Does anyone care?). But it really makes it so interesting!
The pictures are so adorable! It almost made me remember how it was to have an imagination! :)
You are so not alone, just so you know.
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